Feeling Spent

Its hit me…. yes I have it. Spring fever that is and because of that I feel worn out and just ready for a vacation.  My job is so overwhelming at times and mentally draining. Tomorrow I’m taking a day off, something I rarely do and hoping that it truly will be a day off.

I just want to go and retreat to a quiet place. Have you ever just felt like your talked at all the time. I feel like I’m constantly telling kids to settle down and quiet down.  Does anyone not appreciate the virtue of silence?  Even I find it difficult to manage because the minute I get silence, I’m trying to turn on the radio or mask it with some stupid program on tv.

What would I do if I had a moment of silence, or maybe perhaps a day? I’m not sure how I would react because I have had plenty moments of silence ( usually its for something formal) and during those moments of silence I’m not reflecting on much except on waiting for the moment of silence to end.  

I think if I had a day of silence..it might be scary.  I think the thoughts in my mind might start to get noisy and pollute any relaxation technique it is supposed to bring.

What would you do with a moment of silence? A day of silence?  Maybe you can help me come up with some ideas.

Kayaking and Hiking

Its that time of year again and we are at it. I wish I had pictures to share of this weekend but it was kind of gray to take the camera out. Plus I’ve learned that unless it is warm and sunny most people and animals are hiding under a comforter somewhere.  We did make it out kayaking and hiking this weekend.  On saturday we went for that solace in the woods feeling.  James and I woke up early to hit the trail and the woods before the other people got there.  That is my favorite time, I love sitting and walking in the woods and all I can hear are the animals waking up.

On Sunday we drove down to the sedge islands for a round of kayaking. We were out for hours but it was cold and gray and we saw our usual flock of birds for this time of year, but nothing else in plain view.  It felt good to get out on the bay, but I have to tell you that I think we overdid it a bit. I was sore this morning and really exhausted all day today.

I only hope that one day we live in a place where we don’t have to hibernate. I’ve been wanting to do this since I started college. I’m gravitating toward a slower pace of life and a warmer climate.  We just haven’t figured out where to settle down yet.  Even Max commented yesterday that he wished he could live at the beach.  Someday…. we just have to figure out where.

Chinese Food …YUM

Its been sixteen days and counting and yes we are still meat free. We had the chance this past weekend to visit a chinese restaurant that only makes vegetarian dishes.  There were pages and pages of things to choose from including a mock sesame chicken which I had.  To be honest you could not tell the difference and this made things kind of exciting, because General Tso’s was one thing I was going to miss.

Now if I could only find some place that makes a kick ass cheeseburger, then we would be set.

All in all things are smooth sailing, though it does take a bit of planning in our crazy life.  We have to make meals ahead of time, and not get stuck in the trap of fast food.  To be honest this probably is the hardest thing to contend with.  We start our day at 5:30 and head out the door at 6:30 and sometimes are running around until 8 at night, especially with baseball in the mix.  Max has practice or games four times a week, then you add bible school to that and almost all of our evenings are taken up.

Remember Fish are Friends , NOT FOOD!:)

Kayaking

We actually had to take a kayaking hiatus for a little while because of the car accident. We lost our car that was able to transport the kayaks. Though thankfully after a long winter solstice, we got the chance to resume this past weekend. Here’s some pics. The turtles were out in full force. Here’s a pic of Max and then one of the turtles.

Hope you enjoy!

Nature Disconnect

Unless you live under a rock you may have noticed that yesterday was Earth Day. A tradition which started in 1970, seems to have gotten a lot of attention this year.  Everyone is rushing out to be Green.  A shirt I saw yesterday ” Green is the new black”, what does that mean?  There are green roofs, green music festivals, green laundry soap. Maybe you should eat your greens.  I walked into Petsmart yesterday and there it was, the green pet endcap.  Buy your dog organic green clothes, organic dog toys.  Even the latest issue of Vanity Fair has gone Green.  Time Magazine has replaced the flag of Iwo Jima with a green tree.  I remember when Green was just about St. Patrick’s day.

I guess its hip to be green.  But really this is just about consumerism.  Let’s buy more things to say we are green.  Replace all the light bulbs in your home so that you are more green.  Throw up on an amusement park ride, that surely will make you more green.

So what I am saying is if you truly are green… then its about sacrifice.  Its about choosing to live outside rather than watching some crazy show like the Kardashians on tv ( I thought Bruce Jenner was dead to be honest with you until I was flipping through the channels)

Instead of itchy to stay inside, instead of buying some 300,000 house where you are putting down roots, go outside and see what we have done to the place.  See the pollution, hear the cars and trucks, look at the polluted water.

Maybe instead of buying something, we should be getting angry.  I know for me I feel like I am already there.  How dare you decide to trash the land, how dare we for not paying attention.

The List

About five years ago when the world seemed like a pretty bleak place to me, I made a list. I kept it hidden from the world. The list was composed of simple and complicated things that I wanted to accomplish in my time here. I think I need to redo the list and also I have learned it is a better thing for everyone to know about the list. See I’ve learned in five years that there are people in this world that choose to be helpful. I have run into these people in the last five years and I know if they would have known about the list they would have helped me accomplish some of those things because some of the things on my list are so simple and easy. Keep in mind the things that appear on this list do not appear in any particular order, just as I think of them. There are of course things I want to accomplish more than others, but to be honest they are almost all equally important. I am also keeping the things that have already been accomplished on the list, because it keeps me motivated and also leaves the blog open for me to share about those experiences.

1. Hot Air Balloon Ride — Accomplished 4/04

2. African Safari

3. Visit Victoria Falls

4. See the Rainforest — Accomplished 8/06

5. Visit Belize — 8/06

6. Own my own kayak 3/07

7. Look for killer whales 7/05

8. Visit New York 11/05

9. Visit Coney Island 7/06

10. Do mission work

11. Walk part of the Applachian Trail

12. Visit Every National Park

13. Visit Every State

14. Ride a bicycle down a volcano.

15. Swim with sharks — 10/05

16. Visit Australia

17. Go on a cage dive

18. See whale sharks

19.  Take Max to swim with manatees

20.  Ride the tallest biggest rollercoaster

21.  Go to Las Vegas just to ride the rollercoaster.

22.  Adopt a child in need

23.  Get Married Again  -8/06

24.  Spend some time in the woods

25.  Go to Alaska

26. Learn about my family history.

27. Live in Florida

28. Visit the Florida Everglades  8/07

29.  Visit the Florida Keys  8/07

30.  Costa Rica

31.  Ziplining  8/06

32.  Volunteer at a nursing home

33.  Start a nonprofit organization to help other people

34.   Start my own kayaking business

35.  Get my PHD

36. Visit every zoo in the country

37. Own land again

38. Horseback riding

39. Go on a long roadtrip to California

40.  Write  a book

41. Start writing poetry again

42. Start a scrapbook for max

43.Take a painting class

44.  Take a drawing class

45. Learn how to knit

46. Rent a beach cottage for a summer

47. Go skydiving ( I chickened out on this one.. I’m leaving it on the list though, maybe I’ll come back to it.)

48. Visit Assateague Island to see the wild ponies

49. Friday’s Harbor

50. Volunteer as a marine researcher for a summer.

Kuhn

I’m not really sure what led me to write this other than possibly the combination of Dunkin Doughnuts coffee, a design project, and blasting music on my headphones at work, but I started to think about my Grandmother (I really can’t make the connection to my line of thought, so just bear with me on this).

Actually I first started thinking about the glass juicer that I have that was once hers and how it’s not  just a simple object to me, but a link back to her that I’m really glad I still have. To me, as an object it has transcended its simple form and become something much more than it would appear to anyone else.

You would look at it and think…glass juicer. I look at it and think…I miss my Grandmother.

You hold it and think…it’s somewhat heavy and probably fragile. I hold it and think…she was somewhat heavy and fragile. 

I remember one time we sat and watched television together. It was an episode of the Monkees and I was probably 14 or 15 at the time (possibly younger). Frank Zappa and Mike Nesmith were dressed as each other and goofing off for the camera and then Frank started smashing a car with a hammer. I remember her saying to me that she didn’t understand any of that nonsense. At the time I just thought it was funny.

She passed away almost as soon as I came to realize just how important she was to me and that was related to that very conversation we had that day. It stuck with me for a long time and I realized my Grandmother was starting to relate to me as an adult and no longer as a child. It felt like I’d reached a turning point with her and then suddenly she was gone.

I like to imagine I understand an even greater amount of things now at the age of 46. Such as, Frank Zappa was a creative genious that (at times) didn’t take himself too seriously and was probably greatly influenced by the work of John Cage. Someone else my Grandmother would never have understood.

Music is just noise and often most noise is beautiful.

“Which is more musical: a truck passing by a factory or a truck passing by a music school?” –John Cage

And sometimes a simple object isn’t just what it appears to be at face value.

It just depends on your perspective.

Six Days So Far

So far so good. We are still plowing away at the vegetarian lifestyle.  We still have a freezer full of meat which I think I am looking at donating at this point. We decided to do this while we still had meat in our freezer.  We thought that we probably would crave meat and simply just be adding meatless meals here and there to make the transition, but to be honest I have been doing ok and don’t want to stop.  We had meatless tacos last night with the meat substitute. Couldn’t really tell much of a difference and the true test is Max because he has no idea. 

I think we have a lot to be proud of at this point and I can’t wait to start out next challenge or goal. There is going to be one…. I already have a couple in my head.

While we are on the subject… I think I need to revise the List.  The list of what I want to accomplish or do in my lifetime.  I think we have crossed off a bunch and I think there is more to add. So stay tuned.

Max’s Opening Day

In the past few days there have been enough philsophical prose on here, let’s at least talk about what we did this weekend. 

Max is playing baseball again for the 2nd year. This year at least proves to be a little more interesting as the coach’s are pitching and they are counting runs and outs. Of course Max’s team got slaughtered. Some of our kids were in the outfield picking grass and then there was the hot potato moves… I have the ball … and what do I do with it?

Overall I’m glad he’s playing. He seems to really enjoy it and even get excited about it which for Max is rare. With Max its hard to know what leaves an impression on him.  What I should comment on is everytime Max plays an organized sport there are those parents.  Those parents who dream of their child playing professionally.  When did stealing childhood become a pastime?  So our kids were picking grass… and probably shouldn’t have been.  But at least that’s all they have to worry about is picking grass at this point.  Not that I don’t have aspirations for Max, I of course do.  But the difference is I also know with hardwork really anything can be achieved.

There are dreams we all have…max will of course have his own. If he wants to play professionally so be it, if he doesn’t thats ok too. But I can’t have him fulfill my own dreams. He has to own it , he has to want them. 

 

Changing the world…vegetarianism?

About a week ago…. I was helping one of my students on her project for the Ecofest.  It was on animal testing and we were going through some of the information.  Part of her research was the animal cruelty at the chicken farms for KFC.  The pictures and the videos at youtube are pretty disturbing.

James started reading and we started talking about the differences we want to make, the changes we want to make for ourselves. So we are trying to go vegetarian.  To be honest I’m not sure what will come out of it. We are starting to transition our meals to meatless meals. I really think its going to be a struggle but I’m up for a challenge.

After talking to James about it, it seemed really important to him.  More important to him than me.  So even though I doubt my own ability to keep this up, I want to support him and do what I can to have as many meatless meals as possible.

My main reasons for doing this…. 1.  To get healthy and fit.  2.  I saw fast food nation and read parts of the book , and according to the book, there is always a little bit of poop in the meat.  I think that was enough to gross me out.  3.  I felt pretty uncomfortable watching those free videos that PETA sent to us to help the kids out with their projects.

Above all though I really want to support James. He read some information on the impact of going vegetarian, and how this would really have the most impact.

Some things I worry about:  1.  Will I really be able to do this? ( Right now my long term goal is to have meat once a week ( preferably chicken) 2.  If I stop buying meat, what am I really doing for those poor farmers who make their living raising cattle and chickens. Maybe I need to do research on this part, maybe they really aren’t so poor.  3.  Socially I worry about Max growing up and him screaming from a belltower….”You denatured my meat enzymes.. and now I can’t enjoy McDonald’s.

One encouraging thing is that we tried the meatless sausage today and we both liked it.  We had Max try it of course keeping from him that it is really not meat. He liked it too.  I think Max is just starting to put together the ideas of where meat really comes from. We went to a pig roast last year and I think this was his first exposure of how they kill animals. He didn’t seem particularly bothered by it, but what six year old doesn’t believe that meat magically doesn’t fly in from the meat fairy?  Not that I have any intention of showing him PETA videos anytime soon.