Trying

I’m trying not to complain because we got the best news of our life last night. Saying that it seems that I am about to unleash a huge array of complaints and to be honest I think I am just plain frustrated of dealing with other people.  I feel I have way too much responsibility at my job and even when I try to turn it off they are piling on more or refusing to meet with me ( Perhaps they know that I am going to turn down a position).  So instead they are letting me carry the position and letting me grow more anxious over it.  I hate for things to fail and this one is going to because I am the only one running it. Confusing I know, but just plain frustrating.

In other news Max is back on the farm tomorrow. Last week was a pretty dull week because it rained but also I just realize that I don’t really like making small talk with new people and I’m not all that much into monotony.  James and I were separated and not that it was a huge deal but when your grinding corn in 90 degree heat, you want to be next to someone who is not complaining that she can’t do anything with her life because she choose to have five children.  Everytime the woman I was with would ask me about my life and I would tell her something I was doing, she would reply with oh I could never do that… because I have little ones at home. Eventually they grow up and go to school and even I say if they are carryable that you should be porting them around and doing something that is important to you.

I don’t think I could ever stay at home and if I was blessed enough not to have to work, I would be out there working or at least volunteering.

But I’m not complaining because right now it could rain for the next 40 days and I wouldn’t care, because we beat the cancer dart for now.